Family Screen Time Agreement: How to Write One Together with Your Child

A family screen time agreement is a set of written rules that parents and children create together: how much and when gaming is allowed, what the breaks are, what happens if a rule is broken and when the rules get reviewed. It works better than spoken bans because everyone knows the rules in advance and they're the same for everyone. Below is how to write one, what to put in it and a ready-to-use template.

Why write an agreement when you can just say “enough”?

Spoken rules quickly get fuzzy. Yesterday your child was allowed to play until nine; today a parent is in a bad mood, and suddenly it's “you've been sitting there long enough.” Your child can't tell what the decision depends on and starts bargaining every time. An agreement turns the argument from “parent versus child” into “all of us versus breaking our shared rule.”

What a written agreement gives you:

• predictability — your child knows when they can play and doesn't beg for time;
• fairness — the rules don't depend on the adults' mood;
• responsibility — your child helped write the rules, and it's easier to follow a rule you made yourself;
• fewer arguments — when a conflict comes up, you open the agreement instead of raising your voice.

How to write the agreement with your child

1. Pick a calm moment. Not right after an argument and not in the middle of a game. A weekend over a cup of tea, when nobody's in a hurry, works best.
2. Start with questions. What do they play, what do they like about it, how long does a match last, how much time feels fair to them? How to have that conversation without tension is covered in how to talk to kids about gaming.
3. Explain your reasons. Sleep, homework, eyes, back, family time — in simple words and without scare tactics.
4. Look for a compromise. If your child asks for three hours and you're ready for one, you might settle on an hour on school days and two hours on weekends.
5. Write it down and sign it. A sheet on the fridge or a file on the computer — it doesn't matter. What matters is that everyone can see the rules.
6. Set a review date. It's easier for a child to accept a rule when they know it can be discussed again in a month.

With younger school-age children, the agreement should be short: three to five points that need no explanation. With teenagers, it can be more detailed and include points of their own — for example, the right to finish a match that's already started or the right to a longer session on Fridays.

What to include in the agreement

Play time and breaks

How long one gaming session lasts, how long the break between sessions is and how much play time is allowed per day in total. Starting points by age are in our article on how much gaming time is right for kids.

Days and hours

Whether school days differ from weekends, what time gaming can start (for example, after homework and outdoor time) and when it has to end (for example, no later than an hour before bed).

Exceptions

School holidays, public holidays, illness, a friend's birthday, a tournament with the team. It's better to decide in advance what happens in these cases than to argue in the moment. For the holidays, it's handy to have a separate version of the agreement — more on that in our article on a school holiday routine.

Consequences

What happens if a rule is broken. The consequence should be known in advance, proportionate and not humiliating: for example, the next day's play time is half an hour shorter. “A week without the computer” for five extra minutes is too harsh and feels like revenge.

Adults' responsibilities

The agreement works both ways. Adults promise to give advance warning, not to switch off the computer in the middle of a match and to follow the shared rules themselves — for example, no phones at the dinner table.

Review

When and how the agreement gets updated: once a month, once a term or whenever the routine changes.

A ready-to-use agreement template

Copy it, fill in the blanks and adapt it to your family:

1. On school days, we play from ___ to ___, after homework and outdoor time.
2. One gaming session lasts no more than ___ minutes, followed by a ___-minute break.
3. In total: no more than ___ on school days and no more than ___ on weekends.
4. No games or screens in the hour before bed.
5. No games during meals or homework.
6. When time is up, we don't start a new match; the current one can be finished.
7. Adults give a 10-minute warning before time runs out and don't switch off the computer without warning.
8. Exceptions (holidays, celebrations, tournaments) are discussed separately and in advance.
9. If a rule is broken, the next day's play time is ___ minutes shorter.
10. If a week goes by without any broken rules, the child chooses what the family does together on the weekend.
11. We don't close or get around the timer program — it's part of the agreement.
12. We review this agreement on ___ (date).
13. Signatures: child ___, parents ___.

Example of a completed agreement

Here's what an agreement might look like for a family with a ten-year-old after the first discussion:

• on school days, we play after homework and outdoor time, from 5 to 7 p.m.;
• one session is 40 minutes, then a 15-minute break: a drink of water, a stretch, a look out the window;
• in total: 80 minutes on school days, 2 hours on weekends;
• no screens after 8 p.m., and nobody has a phone at dinner;
• we finish a match that's already started, but don't start a new one once time is up;
• if a rule is broken, 20 minutes less tomorrow;
• we review it at the end of the term.

The numbers here are an example, not a recommendation. Your family's numbers may be different; what matters is that everyone involved in the agreement understands and accepts them.

How to back up the agreement with a program

The most contested moments in any agreement are “just five more minutes” and “I didn't know time was up.” A neutral timer handles both well: it doesn't get tired, doesn't get annoyed and is equally fair to both sides.

In Antidrot, the time-related points of the agreement go into an access key: play time, break time and total limit. During play time, the reminder window is hidden. During a break, it appears on top of the game with a “Time left until unlock” countdown, and at the end of the break your child presses “Continue” themselves — if they've stepped away, they don't lose any play time. When the total limit runs out, the window stays on screen until a new key is entered. The key is single-use and signed, so the time in it can't be faked. Learn more in our article on the access key and how to give your child play time.

The parent gets a key from the key generator or the Telegram bot. In the bot, you can give access to a second parent (co-parent) without revealing the master key, and turn on child access: your child gets a key on their own during the hours you allow, while the play and break times are still set by the parent. This fits neatly with an agreement point like “we play from 4 to 7 p.m.” How to set it up is explained in our article on the Antidrot Telegram bot.

How to make the agreement work

• Keep your own promises. If an adult breaks a promise, admit it out loud — children learn by example.
• Apply consequences calmly. No lectures and no new punishments made up on the spot.
• Notice the good. Praise your child for following the rules, not just scold them for breaking them.
• Don't change the rules on the fly. All changes happen only at the review, together.
• Keep the agreement where everyone can see it. When a rule is written down, the argument is with the paper, not with Mom or Dad.

Over time, a good agreement becomes a habit, and you hardly need to bring it up. That's the best possible outcome: your child learns to plan their own time instead of waiting for an adult to say “enough.”